


Home, Love, Family

by Feyatsirk



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst, Depression mentions, Descriptions of medical setups, Hospitalization, M/M, Malnutrition mentions, Mental Health Issues, She makes another appearance, So much angst, Suicide mention, eating disorder mention, unintentional self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 18:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19340572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feyatsirk/pseuds/Feyatsirk
Summary: Minhyun finds out Jonghyun goes on a date, plus the others having excuses why they can't come out for food, which is why he ended up eating dinner alone. Minhyun's mind kind of overthinks and he loses himself because of everything.





	Home, Love, Family

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings: Read the tags _twice_ to make sure you're okay with them. I will not be responsible for any mentions of things that may set someone off. As a repeat the warnings in general are: Mental health, suicide, and eating disorder mentions, hospitalization, medical procedures, unintentional self-harm.**
> 
>  
> 
> This resulted in a comment a friend made along the lines of "Jonghyun hesitated before he said 'a friend', what if it was a date and Minhyun didn't know??" lol The littlest things cause nearly 10k words apparently. That's fine. 
> 
> If you don't know the song the title is from, i'm judging y'all.

"Who did you go with?" Jonghyun stares at him for a moment, either surprised by the interrogation or coming up with a fake answer, Minhyun wasn't sure. He wasn't happy though.

"...a friend."

"Why didn't you call me? I asked on the group chat if someone wanted to get food." Minhyun knows he's being ridiculous but can't help it. Once the recording is over, Minhyun glances at him in the car.

"Which friend did you go with?" Jonghyun looks at him confused before shaking his head.

"You don't know them." Minhyun nods, noting the lack of pronouns. He doesn't ask anything more and gets out at his apartment with a small goodnight. Jonghyun waving and says goodnight as well. Shutting the van door, he heads to his apartment trying to think of who he could have met up with. No names coming to mind at all. He falls asleep after a few dozen tossing and turnings. When he heads to practice in the morning, he pauses outside the door hearing Aron talking to Jonghyun.

"How was your date Tuesday?" He hears a noncommittal noise.

"It was good. She was nice, we tried the ma-" Minhyun zones out then, only hearing the words 'date' and 'she'. Walking in, knowing he can't skip practice, he ignores the two and sits by the wall, texting his sister quickly. 'He's dating some girl...how do you get over someone?' Sujin doesn’t reply till much later in the evening but till then, Minhyun feels as though he's moving through a fog. Dancing the steps he's supposed to, redoing parts, even his breaks were done in a daze. He spoke but barely. Claiming he didn’t sleep well which isn’t too far from the truth, but he didn't want tons of questions. When he gets home, he reads Sujins answer: Hyunnie, you've liked him for a few years it will take some time to get over him but try not to spend too much time with him. If you can manage that." Minhyun hums and figures he can do that no problem. Sending a thank you before she tells him to let her know if he needs anything. He agrees and heads to eat. Not sure what he really wants but managing to create something from what was in his kitchen. The next few days pass this way, Minhyun eating but skipping a meal or two. Not really paying attention when he does. Drinking less water. Sujin checking up on him every couple of days and he assures her he's doing okay. Dongho asking if he's eating okay one day after practice. He nods and smiles.

"I'm fine. Dont worry." Dongho nods and pats his shoulder as he walks by. Minhyun following him up afterwards, gently rubbing his shoulder before he heads home. The next day, Minki comes for lunch and they get their shoes on to go out and Minhyun finds himself on a gurney moments later. Minki in tears because he fainted. 'I couldn't get you to answer. You just laid there.' Minhyun apologizes for scaring him. Minki offering to text everyone and Minhyun waves him off. Saying he'll do it once they have him settled in. Minki agrees and continues to hold his hand as they ride in the ambulance. Minhyun having no intentions of messaging the others this set back. He simply over did it today is all. Once at the hospital, they set him up with an IV drip for dehydration and check him for slight malnutrition. They tell him as such, and he says he's just been busy and missed a few meals from just wanting to sleep instead. They scold him of course as it's dangerous but leave it at that telling him when the bag is done, he'll be released. He thanks them and gets his phone out before Minki comes in to pretend he sent the messages. Minki comes in shortly after and sits on the foot of the bed.

"You sure you're okay? You were acting strange according to Baekho a few weeks ago and now this." Minhyun nods and pats his knee.

"I promise you Minki, I'm okay. Just a bit dehydrated. I just have to wait for this bag to finish then I can head home." Minki nods and settles in for the wait despite Minhyun saying he can head home if he wants. The younger just shakes his head and ignores him trying to get him to leave. 'I’m making sure you get home okay.' He gives a small glare and Minhyun sighs dramatically and gives in. Once the bag is done, the nurse returns and unhooks the iv and pats his leg giving him the all clear. Saying to be careful when he gets up because she doesn’t need him fainting from being lightheaded. He slowly stands and smiles at her, thanking her before heading out with Minki. The two of them ducking their heads as they head out not needing their faces online because they went to the hospital.

As the days turn to weeks, Minhyun deteriorates more. Hes drinking more water to make up for the lack of food but it’s not helping, constantly finding himself dizzy in his apartment and having to sit someplace. He sat in his shower yesterday and sends a text afterwards to Sujin he felt sick. She of course told him to take some medicine and sleep it off which is how Minhyun finds himself when his members come over irritated because he overslept. He swears and apologizes to them, saying he didn’t feel well so he just rested his eyes. They all look at him confused and Jonghyun tells him to just go back to sleep because he looks like hell. Minhyun frowns and nods at that. Minki and Aron watching Minhyun sulk from being slightly disciplined by their leader. Dongho leading Minhyun back to bed, saying he’ll bring some food by later for him. He smiles sleepily and thanks him. The four heading out without him then, and once he deems himself OK, he heads back to practice only to constantly mess up. Jonghyun sending the others home at their normal end time.

"We'll practice a little more. He's behind from being sick." Minhyun laying on the ground, hands on his stomach and realizing he can feel his ribs, frowning he waits till no one’s looking and peeks under his shirt. He hadn’t realized he lost that much weight; he should eat something to go tonight. Get something back in energy. He's unsurprised when two hours later, he still is messing up; what is he surprised by is Jonghyun snapping at him. Minhyun looking at the ground the whole time taking the yelling and apologizing for it all. Jonghyun rubs his forehead and sends him home.

"We'll try tomorrow. Go eat and get some more rest." Minhyun nods and says a soft goodnight again before heading out. Jonghyun following a few minutes later to find Minhyun sitting on the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh, I ordered some food so I'm just sitting and waiting for it to get here so I can head home with it." Jonghyun stares at him and the weirdness but says 'Okay'. Asking him the last time he did vocal practice as well. Minhyun giving him a funny look.

"Do you think I need it?" He rests his chin on the top of his hand and drops it in surprise when Jonghyun nods.

"I didn’t realize I did...I'll set it up I guess." Jonghyun nods and says goodnight again as he leaves, trying to figure out what was going on with him. Minhyun frowning as his dizziness subsides and he gets up to head home. Grabbing some ramen from his local 7/11 before going home entirely. The next day starts the whirlwind of chaos. When he arrives to Pledis, Minhyun just feels something is off. Coughing a bit as he gets down the stairs to their practice room. Aron nudging Dongho to look at Minhyun, hes up and moving to catch him when he goes even paler and collapses. Dongho catching him before he hits the ground and calling for someone to call the ambulance. Minhyun out cold in his arms which is when he realizes how light he is.

"What happened to him?" Minki stares worriedly and kneels beside Dongho to stroke his hair. Frowning when some single strands come with.

"He looks like hell spit him out." Jonghyun comes in then when Aron called him after he called the ambulance, having been upstairs to talk to their CEO about something when Aron called saying Minhyun collapsed. He told the CEO who waved him off hurriedly with a 'keep me updated' request. They watch as he's easily carried up the stairs on the gurney. Jonghyun and their manager riding in the ambulance while the other three take the van, Dongho driving behind the ambulance. The three are stopped from entering the ER but are led to a room for them to sit in private till their friend is ready. Even the manager and Jonghyun appear in the room, Jonghyuns eyes damp and red as he paces. Looking at no one in particular when he says he should call Minhyuns parents. Their manager patting his shoulder saying hell do it and that he should sits. Jonghyun nods and sits on the broken-down couch with the others. Aron rubbing Minkis back as he cries, the younger not liking when any of them go to the hospital. The doctor and nurses don't talk to them until his parents get there which they manage quickly since they were coming up to surprise him for his birthday. The doctor explains what they suspect happened.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hwang?" They stand along with Sujin and his mother tells the doctor they dont mind the others hearing. He nods and explains what they’ve done.

"We've unfortunately had to intubate him and induce a coma. I usually only see these cases in younger women, his organs were shutting down due to lack of eating, he was here a month or two ago for dehydration and malnutrition." Minki hears the others gasp and looks at them.

"He didn't text you guys, did he?" The doctor and Minhyuns family look at him then.

"I was the one who called to bring him in, he told me he would text you guys he was here once he got settled...he even had his phone out when I came back in..." The doctor frowns and looks at his parents.

"I'm afraid, due to the fact I can't speak with him, I have to diagnose him with anorexia and severe dehydration from stress. I’m surprised he didn’t; come in sooner. We've also made the elective decision to give him a feeding tube in hopes it will give him some nutrients back and reverse the damage he's done so we can wake him." The doctor continues to explain what a feeding tube is and its general purpose. Explains the intubation process involves a tube down his throat for air. It will make things, talking and singing, difficult a few days to a week after they remove it but nothing long term. His parents go and see him first when the doctor says they can. The three of them following after the doctor. The room he's in must be close because they hear a small cry from his mom. The others glance at each other as they take this in. Dongho speaking up first.

"I asked him two months ago if he was eating okay cause he was acting funny... he said he was just tired..." Minki nods and says the same thing. That he just kept saying he wasn't sleeping well. Jonghyun hugs his knees and buries his face against them. Feeling responsible since he should have noticed.

"I should have noticed earlier. I shouldn't have pushed him so hard last night; he might not be in a _coma_ right now." He cries as he hugs his knees. The three of them crowding him and hugging him tightly. Nearly an hour passes before his family returns, red eyed and sniffling, Sujin telling them they can go next but to be prepared. The older three glancing at each other and then Minki.

"If you don't think you can handle this, we won't fault you for sitting here." Minki frowns at them and shoves past, following Sujin to the room and covering his mouth once he sees him. They knew Minhyun was already pale but this...he's nearly as pale as the sheets, a blue tube leaving his mouth attached to a machine giving him proper air and the cloth gown and blanket cover the feeding tube but they sit close, Sujin warning them of the iv in one hand and to be careful of all the wires. Jonghyun stares at the heartrate monitor, the steady beep already fading into the background. Minki holding his hand and asking why he didn't tell any of them while he cries. Dongho sitting in a chair near the window staring blankly as Aron sniffles and sits beside him. The three of them dealing with it in their own way when the doctor comes in. Jonghyun glances up at him, sitting in the chair opposite Minki beside the bed.

"I'm wondering if I could ask a few questions since you're around him most." They all nod and he starts asking the questions.

How long had he been acting strange? Three months.

Did he seem distant? They all look confused at that when Dongho says he stopped asking them out for food or to the movies on group chat about two months ago. Crying when he realizes he noticed but thought nothing of it.

Did he make excuses when he was asked out for food? Yes, claiming he wasn't that hungry or had leftovers at home he wanted to eat.

The doctor tells them this next question will be difficult but answer it honestly. They all glance at him as asks: When did you notice he was at this point? Dongho chokes in his crying when he says today.

"I caught him when he collapsed. He was so light..." Jonghyun nods and says today as well. Explaining theyre not around each other 24/7 anymore and he just figured he really was tired. Minki says a month ago, 'he kept stumbling which wasn't like him... I thought something was wrong, but he didn’t reach out like normal, so I figured it wasn’t anything big.' Aron says two weeks ago. 'I saw him coughing a lot and then sat down with difficulty...but ive had those coughing fits where I get lightheaded, so I thought it was that...' The doctor nods and checks a few other questions. Asking if anyone knows what set this off. They all shake their heads and sigh. Sujin having come to let them know something pauses in the doorway and mumbles. The doctor turning to look at her.

"I think I know...but I don't think he meant for _this_ to happen." They look at her surprised and she tells the doctor shell explain privately to him. Which she does, explaining she got a text asking her how he should get over someone, someone he had liked for nearly four years.

"When he likes someone, he falls hard and gives his all and he found out they didn’t reciprocate...I think all of this was an accident. He probably didn’t even realize what was happening." The doctor sighs and explains they’ve seen this before; some couples having broken up or something else happens where one falls into a depressive state and loses sense of themselves. She nods and glances back at the room.

"I think he's just suffering from that...his hair was greasy. He usually showers twice a day...so that’s weird on its own. Please help my baby brother." He touches her arm and smiles saying this is a good start on where to go next and that he'll do everything he can. She nods and goes back to the room, the others scrambling to pretend they weren’t trying to listen.

"How much did you hear?"

"None. Minhyuns machine was too loud." She chuckles and shakes her head.

"Anyway, I was coming to let you know our parents are leaving shortly. They took time off to come see him and they can’t really visit with him currently, so they’ll be back this weekend to switch off with someone since I'm sure you won’t let him be alone." They all nod and she smiles softly, telling them to go get some rest and she has their numbers in case anything changes. They all hug Minhyun best they can and head out. Sujin telling them to make sure someone tells the CEO. Jonghyun says he’ll make sure he does, and they leave with their manager. Sujin shutting the door so no one walks by and recognizes him before she sits down and holds his hand.

"Please tell me this was all an accident and you just lost yourself a little. That you didn't do this on purpose to get his attention." She rests her head on the bed beside his hand and rests. Surprising herself when she begins to fall asleep, the rhythm of the machines lulling her to sleep. Shes woken up in the morning by a nurse saying they want to wash his hair and clean him up. She stares sleepily but nods. Asking they not do anything crazy.

"Of course not ma'am. We've had many celebrities here, a few required baths. We're confidential." She sighs but nods hoping Minhyun won't feel too violated afterwards. She watches the nurse pull the blinds full shut as another puts a cap on his head. She looks up when she sees shoes in front of her and smiles when she sees coffee.

"Thanks." She takes the coffee from him and Jonghyun sits beside her asking what’s going on.

"Bath time." Jonghyun chokes on his coffee a bit and looks at her confused.

"They have a cap with shampoo and then they sponge bath him. She said they’ll come in every other day since he can’t move." He nods and explains he told the CEO, he wasn't happy since their comeback was soon, so they made an announcement to postpone. Jonghyun scoffs and looks down.

"Nuest W will have one last comeback while he recovers." Sujin frowns and says he'll need them during recovery. He was already depressed being away from them for the two years. He nods and knows, but he can't exactly argue with his boss. Sujin raising an eyebrow.

"I can." He looks at her amused and says to go right ahead. She sighs and waits. Asking Jonghyun if hes her replacement.

"Till around 3 yeah. Then I have my schedules. Longest I could postpone them." It’s quiet between them for a while. The only sound coming from other rooms machines and squeaky shoes on the tile floors. Jonghyun finally asking it.

"What happened? To cause this. You said you had an idea..." Sujin glances at him and nods, choosing her words carefully as she talked to the person hes in love with.

"The person he loved for four years didn’t return his feelings and started pulling away. He asked me how to get over them and I told him it would take time...four years is a long time ya know? But I guess he just didn’t know what to do cause his world kind of shattered." Jonghyun stares at her and looks at his coffee cup. Processing everything she said but still not understanding.

"He's...been in love with someone for four years and never tried anything with them?"

"He couldn't Jonghyun. It's not...not _accepted_ if you understand that..." she watches his eyes widen a bit and glance at his room.

"He...liked a... ya know." Glancing at a few people walking by. She nods and leans back a bit.

"With everything he had. Turns out they were moving on in life and others were busy. He was being left behind and he was lost." She rubs her eyes and Jonghyun sits staring blankly. He didn’t know any of this. He was supposed to be the leader and make sure everyone was happy and comfortable. Not feeling lost and upset. Standing up he rubs his own eyes and tells her he's going to get someone else to take his place. He doesn’t feel comfortable keeping an eye on him when he failed to catch someone, he calls his best friend deteriorating in front of him. She grabs his wrist and pulls him back down, hugging him tightly and tells him Minhyun would want him watching out for him.

"Even if its once a week. Please." He nods and looks over when the nurses open the door. The one Sujin spoke to earlier smiling at her.

"He needs his hair combed and dried, we figured you'd know what he liked but hes all clean and dry." She thanks them and Jonghyun follows her in as she takes the comb and towel and gently dries his hair and combs it how he'd want it.

"It's weird. Without him around.” She looks at him as he continues. “Like before I could call him when he was with wanna one, now it's...a one-sided conversation." Sujin nods and reaches over to touch his hand.

“Supposedly, people can still hear when in comas. Maybe when I go, you can just sit here and talk with him. It’ll be awkward but, I think he’d like it.” Jonghyun nods quickly, trying to hold back tears and waves to her as she leaves after she kisses Minhyun’s forehead and strokes his hair. Jonghyun sits and talks with him best he can. Telling him they started learning new choreography for a special Nuest W comeback while he’s recovering.

“You can come with us to the music stations I’m sure. Even if you’re not performing.” He rests his head beside his hand and holds it. Asking him to get better so they can all apologize and take care of him better this time. Apologizing now for being a horrible friend and not noticing when he was hurting. The other members and his parents do come and visit for a few hours. Everyone talking to him and Minki even has a chance to dry and style his hair which he loved being able to do for him. Shortly after the three-week mark, the doctors inform them they’re confident in waking him up. Telling them they’ll wait till the next day so they can contact his parents and everything. Sujin telling the doctor they may not be able to be there, but she’ll be there for him. He nods and heads out. Returning a few hours later to inform her she was right, their parents unable to get off work for the waking. In the morning, Sujin and Jonghyun wait outside the room as they remove his feeding tube and the tube from his throat. Slowly injecting the medicine to wake him from his coma before they head out. The nurse retrieving a tablet for him to type on when he does.

“He may try to talk, don’t let him. His throat will be sore for a few days to a week from the tubing.” They both nod and then they just sit and wait. Around the five-hour mark as they’re talking quietly, they hear a groan from him and they both freeze and look at Minhyun as he wakes up. The other blinking confusedly before pointing to his throat before rubbing it, Jonghyun rushing out to ask for some water. Sujin glances over to the door when he runs out and leaves the immediate area; turning to Minhyun she glares at him and he frowns, opening his mouth to speak when she holds her hand up and says not to.

“You just had a tube down there. It’ll hurt for a little while.” He tilts his head confused as he slowly looks around and starts to take in where he’s at. Looking at her slightly panicked then.

“You collapsed…about a month ago.” His eyes widen in shock as she continues. “They said dehydration...malnutrition...sleep deprivation. They diagnosed you with anorexia, Hyunnie. What were you thinking?" Minhyun’s eyes water as he looks at her, opening and closing his mouth wanting to talk but knowing he can’t. He just mouths that he’s sorry. She hands him the tablet she had momentarily forgotten about and opens the notepad app. Minhyun taking it with shaking hands and rests it on his stomach when he flinches. Setting the tablet to the side he moves the blanket and pulls the gown over, staring at the new bandages on his stomach before looking at Sujin who’s looking everywhere but at her brother. He puts the gown down and pulls the blanket back over himself before tapping on the tablet to get her attention.

“What happened?” he types, pressing the speak button so the tablet speaks for him.

“They… they had to put you into an induced coma. Meaning they had to feed you somehow, we had no option but to give you a feeding tube.” Minhyun stares at her before speaking again.

“Where’s mom and dad?”

“They couldn’t make it up here today. They were here the other day; you know how their work is.” He nods lightly and settles back. She looks at him and asks if he did this to get _his_ attention and Minhyun snaps his head around to look at her with a glare and she holds up her hands in surrender.

“I didn’t think you did but I had to ask. So, what did happen?” He glances at the door remembering someone else was here and ran to get him some water. He sighs softly and begins to type.

“He said I didn’t know the person; I didn’t like the answer but didn’t question it. Then I overheard Aron ask him how the date went, and he answered with 'she was nice...' and… I just stopped listening and ran off and I got… sad I guess?" Sujin reads it having told him he didn’t have to press the text-to-speech button incase the other person came back soon. She bites her lip as she reads it and looks at him.

“You got depressed. You should have talked to someone.” He nods and mouths he’s sorry again before typing more, knowing he should have gotten help.

“I thought I’d get upset, get over him and move on but then…I got stuck in my own head and forgot to eat one or two times; then it turned into I forgot water and more meals and then I didn’t have the energy to make meals so I ate crackers or nothing. I didn’t realize it had gotten this bad though.” She reads the sentences and feels her eyes welling with tears as she carefully moves to hug him tightly. Minhyun silently crying against her shoulder as she strokes his hair and cries as well. Telling him they’ll get him an eval so he can get the help he needs. Moving back, she holds his arms and smiles sadly.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to your members. They’ll just be happy you’re awake.” Minhyun nods quickly and rubs his eyes. His hands still shaking as he yawns. Glancing up to see Jonghyun rush in with a glass of water.

“No one would help, I had to wander around for the pantry room myself.” He takes the paper off the bendy straw and hands it to Minhyun. The other staring at him in shock. Jonghyun looking at Sujin with his eyes before back at Minhyun.

“Did... Did I do something?” They both shake their head and Sujin takes the cup and holds the straw out for Minhyun to take a sip from. Jonghyun sitting back down in his seat and rubbing his hands on his pantlegs.

“I’m sorry.” Minhyun looks at him gently holding the cup so he can continue to drink the water till Sujin takes it away. Scolding him that his stomach has probably shrunk, and he should be careful. He sticks his tongue out at her and looks back at Jonghyun.

“For what?” he types carefully and Jonghyun looks down at the bed.

“I scolded you the night before you collapsed because you weren’t getting the choreo right, but even before that, none of us realized you were sick. I should have realized. You’re my best friend and I’m the leader of the group but…” He sniffles as he apologizes again. Minhyun glancing at Sujin for help. She shakes her head and points mouthing ‘talk to him.’ Before she gets up, telling Jonghyun she’s going to go call everyone and let them know Minhyun’s awake. Minhyun giving a noise of distress then. Jonghyun looking at him confused before Minhyun types out his question.

“Where are the others? Can’t they be here instead?” Jonghyun’s eyes widen slightly at that, giving a small nod he smiles and says he’ll just sit here till Sujin gets back then he’ll go. Minhyun nods once and leans back, trying to use his shoulder to move the pillow up and Jonghyun notices. Hesitating before he gets up and grabs the pillow, pulling it up where he wants it and sitting back down. Looking away so he doesn’t see his eyes watering. An electronic ‘thank you’ coming from him. Glancing at the door repeatedly, Jonghyun jumps up when he sees Sujin. Apologizing to her for leaving her alone but bows his head to her and then glances at Minhyun. The other pointedly looking away as he rushes out. Sujin blinking confused before she sighs and rushes after him. Grabbing his arm and pulling him to sit on one of the benches when he starts crying.

“What happened?”

“He didn’t want me there. He asked, ‘can’t the others be here instead?’ so I told him I’d leave when you returned.” Sujin grumbles shaking her head.

“That boy… Jonghyun, who did you go on a date with?” He looks at her confused then.

“What?”

“The date, like four months ago. Who was it?”

“A girl Aron set me up with. She was nice, we went on a second date, but it didn’t feel right. Why?”

“Why didn’t it feel right?” Sujin stares at him and he fidgets, wondering where she’s going with this. He knows the answer, that it didn’t feel right because it wasn’t Minhyun. That recently he’s noticed his feelings growing for the other. Suddenly, what she said a few weeks ago comes back to him.

“It’s me…isn’t it?” Sujin smiles and pats his cheek.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just curious.” Jonghyun stands up and paces.

“I’m the cause of this?! I’m the reason he’s here?” Sujin shakes her head and pulls him into the waiting room they used last month and sits him down.

“No. He’s here because he didn’t know how to handle his own emotions and lost himself in his depression. My brother likes to pretend he’s okay when he’s not, he’s got OCD and that keeps his mind steady.” Jonghyun went to speak and she covers his mouth telling him to let her finish. “When he realized he was getting left behind in things, and the guy he’s tried making it obvious to that he liked ignored him for a date, he was hurt. The other members gave excuses too, he felt he was losing them too.” Jonghyun continued to cry then, he really was an awful leader. He didn’t realize one of his teammates was hurting or getting sick to the point of exhaustion. He didn’t realize Minhyun liked him despite thinking back on it now and realizing it was quite obvious. Sujin rubs his back and tells him the others are on their way, but he has time if he wants to go apologize and confess.

“Obviously nothing can come of it now, he needs to focus on getting better and all of you can help him with that.” Jonghyun nods but tells her he can’t.

"I don't want him thinking I only figured out I liked him because he's on his metaphorical death bed. I've liked him...well realized I did a year ago. I'll tell him when he gets better." She frowns and gives him a small nod. The others show up and ask where hes going and he just shrugs. Not wanting Minhyun to be the bad guy for kicking him out he lies saying now that he's awake he doesn't have to stay all the time. They stare at him confused before he waves and heads out. The three looking at Sujin who just shakes her head, nudging them towards the room and walks in to Minhyun turning the tablet around excitedly. A game on the screen at the moment to show what he found when he sees the other members. Grinning widely, he holds his arms out for them and Minki goes first even accepting the obnoxious kisses he always wants to give. Aron goes next and tells him he gets two kisses. Minhyun gets in three before Aron manages to escape. Dongho last hugs him and even returns one of the kisses much to Minhyuns surprise. He taps out of the game so he can talk to the others.

"I can't talk for a little while. Should be fine in a few weeks." They all nod and Minki sits at the foot of the bed while the other two and Sujin take the chairs.

"What happened with the comeback?"

"Postponed. Nuest W will be having a special comeback while you recover." Minhyun pouts but figures it’s probably the best idea to keep from having to pay cancellation fees for some of the companies. They chat for nearly an hour when the doctor finally comes in. Discussing that Sujin had requested a psych eval an hour ago and if it's possible for Minhyun to type well enough to answer his questions. Minhyun nods and Sujin confirms he's well enough to. 'A little slow but he's good.' He pouts at her and they ask him the questions. A few answers surprising the others, the biggest one being the third question.

"Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?" Minhyun types slowly on this one before hitting the speech button.

"Once or twice way back. Haven't had the thoughts in a while though." Minki stares at him before stepping out. Aron following to calm him down. The doctor glancing at them leave before turning back to Minhyun. 'Last question' he says.

"In the past month, before you collapsed, did you feel down, hopeless or depressed?" Minhyun raises an eyebrow at that one and nods holding up two fingers to indicate 'hopeless'. He nods and does confirm Minhyun seems as though he has depression. He nods figuring as much. They explain some medications they can prescribe him but first they want him to continue gaining some weight. Minhyun nods and Dongho says they’ll get Jonghyuns mom to make her best dishes.

"You'll fatten up in no time!" He laughs and Minhyun smiles softly. The other parents had called shortly after the news broke that Nuest’s Minhyun was admitted to the hospital for health reasons. That's all the company gave. Even a month later fans are still demanding answers despite the members telling fans he's okay. They see him every day. A few fans had tried to get in the hospital to see him, only managing to get to information before they were sent out. They didn't know what floor he was on and none of them would guess the ICU. Still they kept his door and window blinds closed. His actual window faced out to nothing on the twelfth floor. They didn't worry about that much. After a week of physical therapy in the hospital twice a day, they deem him well enough to move home. He'll have an in-house physical therapist come in and help him so they dont have to transport him often and a walker to help take the strain off his body. The hole for the feeding tube was also said to be healing nicely. The doctor asking if they can continue their trend of someone being there with him. They all sheepishly shrug. Letting him know their company planned a comeback so they’ll be busy. Sujin reassures him she's taken leave from work so she can help him. Minhyun complaining then and she just waves him off saying she has plenty of savings. Once he gets home, the others realize how little they see of Jonghyun and ask Sujin about it.

"They're having a mutual pining lovers quarrel." She grumbles. The three groaning since they know Minhyun is blatantly obvious and Jonghyun is still new at the feelings game.

"Does he know about Jonghyun?" Aron asks and Sujin shakes her head.

"Minhyun wanted him gone the day he woke up. I don't think hes seen him since. How's he doing?" They all shrug.

"I live with him and Ive hardly seen him aside from when he goes out someplace." She frowns and asks if anyone’s updated him that Minhyuns home. Minki saying he tried at home, but he just smiled and asked not to be updated. They all look at him for that. Sujin calling him immediately, telling him she needs his help. 'The others are busy and Minhyun fell. I can't get him up by myself and he's getting frustrated.' Jonghyun says he's on his way and within fifteen minutes he's there pinning in the code as Minhyuns walking, or more so shuffling, by the door.

"Su- Youre up?" Minhyun stares at him confused before nodding.

"I've been up. They said I need to walk ten minutes a day for the first week." Jonghyun turns to look at the others and Sujin. Narrowing his eyes a bit.

"You lied to me." Sujin grabs his arm and pulls him to the spare bedroom shutting the door behind them as she starts to rag on him.

"How else was I supposed to get you here? You abandoned him. He needs you here."

"He hates me, why shouldn't I move on too?" Sujin slaps him which surprises them both as they stare at each other wide eyed. Jonghyun slowly touching his cheek.

"You're being a brat. Go out there and tell him you love him; I will not watch my baby brother and his best friend fall out over this. You guys are essentially soulmates; You were so attached at the hip before." Jonghyun stares at ground and gives a small nod. Tears welling up as he says he misses him. She hugs him before pulling him to the door and opening it, Jonghyun rubbing his eyes as he walks out. Pausing by the front door before asking where Minhyun is. They all point to his room and give him a thumbs up.

"You know?"

"You're both blind. Yes, we know. Have for a long time" Minki swats at Aron as Dongho laughs and Jonghyun simply smiles heading to Minhyuns room. Giving a small knock he walks in and shuts the door. Minhyun glaring at the walker as he sits on his bed, looking up from the knock, he frowns more.

"What do you w-"

"I love you." Minhyun looks at him before telling him to get out. Jonghyun shakes his head and moves to sit beside him.

"Please Minhyun just listen to me, I promise you, because I know what you're thinking, that no, Ive loved you for over a year now. I barely left the hospital the three and a half weeks you were there. When I did, I was _terrified_ id get a call in the middle of the night that something happened. Your sister and the others had to make me leave." Minhyun continues to watch him and crosses his arms motioning him to continue which makes him scoff.

"When...you overheard Aron asking me about the date...it was a blind date. Aron thought it would go well and I didn't think I’d ever confess to you so we both figured why not try." Jonghyun shrugs and sits on the bed with him.

"I thought it'd go well. She was nice but...it felt wrong. I missed my best friend during those dates. Wanting to be sharing our food instead of just wondering if her meal was better than mine." He laughs and even manages a smile from Minhyun.

"I cut that off after the second date. She agreed, said my head was elsewhere. When you basically told me to leave last week, I felt nothing but pain in my chest; you hated me, and I didn't know why at the time. Then it all clicked and honestly, I don't blame you. I missed everything and then you wasted away in front of me and I just scolded you saying your voice needed work..." Jonghyun starts crying then, apologizing over and over until he hiccups. Minhyun frowning at him before he pulls him close and into a hug. Jonghyun crying against his shoulder and gently hugging him. Feeling how thin he had gotten and crying harder.

"I forgive you, Jjuya. It's not your fault. I was battling some demons, still am. I just lost my way; I'm not going to do it again. I promise." Jonghyun nods against his arm and he glances up at him.

"When you're better, or even now, you decide, can we go on a proper date?" Minhyun looks down at him and gives a small nod. Jonghyun having moved away just slightly noticing they both are looking at the others mouth.

"You can..." That seems to be all Minhyun needs. Closing the gap to kiss the other, Jonghyun kissing back deeply and smiling in a slight daze.

"Your lips are softer than I thought theyd be." Minhyun raises an eyebrow and cups Jonghyuns cheeks, running his thumb beneath his lower lip.

"You kiss better than I thought." Jonghyun laughs a sharp Ha! Before shoving at his face that’s still close.

"See if I teach you better." Minhyun laughs loudly and leans over him best he can with a smirk.

"I already know plenty." Jonghyun smirking as he leans up back in his space.

"Do you? Prove it. Make me breathless." Minhyun stares before nodding once and pulling him close, cupping one side of his face still as he kisses him deeply, slipping his tongue inside his mouth to aid in making him breathless. The kiss getting a little too heated when Jonghyun gives a small moan. Minhyun moving back then as he pants lightly. Jonghyun chasing his lips momentarily like in the movies and his face flushes immediately when he realizes. Peeking his eyes open, he sees Minhyun smirking at him.

"I won and even got a special gift of hearing you moan." Jonghyun nods and laughs breathlessly for a moment. He hugs him lightly and smiles against his chest.

"I love you...whatever you decide for us, I'll accept." Minhyun lifts his face up in both hands and pecks his lips once more.

"I've waited four years to hear you say that in more than a platonic way. I want you for eternity if I can." Jonghyun nods quickly and smiles. Promising hell be here best he can during promotions, but hell check in on video chat every night, even if he falls asleep on the call. Minhyun nods and tells him he understands if he can’t and that a text will suffice. He nods and Minhyun gets up, gripping the walker as he heads to the door. Telling Jonghyun they should make sure the others aren’t listening on the other side and they both hear a scramble of feet. Jonghyun laughing softly then and helping Minhyun with the door. They figure they all know when they cheer and give them congratulations. Sujin hugging them both.

"Let mom and dad know. They’ll be happy. Especially mom, she always thought you two made a cute couple." Minhyun blushes and ducks his head smiling. Jonghyun covering Minhyuns hand on his walker with his and smiling at him.

As Nuest W promotes, Jonghyun manages to find time to go and visit Minhyun, Sujin stepping out for food and her time when he does. The two occasionally cuddling like they used to only with the additional ability to kiss one another. Jonghyun usually falls asleep on him, exhausted from recordings and practice. Minhyun doesn't mind. He strokes his hair and decides once he's okayed to use just a cane, he'll go with them. Even if he just sits backstage quietly. He manages to get his physical therapist to agree. Saying he's made lots of progress and could continue a few less days a week which excites him. Those free days he can go with his team. The CEO not liking the idea but Minhyun suggests they just drop the others off like normal and take him around so hes not seen by fans. Playing the 'they'll probably have a fit, at you, because of my own stupidity.' Card. He agrees finally, Minhyun telling him itll be every other day since he'll still have physical therapy. He asks how that's going and Minhyun grins saying great. The other man nods and dismisses him. Minhyun heading out in a smile. Jonghyun waiting outside the room with a grin.

"Congrats, I knew youd convince him." Minhyun smiles and walks beside him slowly. Jonghyun happy that his cheeks have slowly comeback. They're still not as round but, he'll take what he can get. Within the next four months, Minhyuns walking alone again without his cane or walker. Jonghyun so excited for him every week he gets further without it. They all exercise together, Minhyun barely doing half of what the rest can but Minki sits with him as they do lower energy work outs. Just to get his strength up and back on par. It takes another month before he's able to do weights. The doctor OKs him for that. Saying his stomach is healed and at no risk for injury. 'Just take it easy.' Jonghyun essentially moves into Minhyun's apartment during this time. Making sure he's still okay. Minhyun constantly gets caught staring now; Jonghyun swatting at his arm every time as he grumbles to stop it. Minhyun just grinning and leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"I know you hate it, you're just too pretty." Jonghyun scoffs and shoves at his face so he'll back up a bit. All in all, it takes around eight months for Minhyun to be nearly on par with his abilities before this all happened. His voice slightly changed, but not much, from the intubation tube against his vocal cords. Jonghyun enjoying the slight change to his voice, telling him at times he has a sexy voice now. Minhyun raising an eyebrow at him asking if he didn’t have one before and Jonghyun laughs as the other tickles him when he says ‘nope.’.

“Don’t lie to me, you know you love this voice.” Jonghyun chuckles and cups his cheek with his hand, Minhyun hovering over him as he searches his face a bit before nodding.

“I really do. I’d love it even more if you said we can order some food.” Minhyun laughs and sits up pulling Jonghyun to sit up as well as he nods.

“Alright, let’s get some food then.” Jonghyun cheers and kisses his cheek, reaching to grab his phone off the floor before scrolling through to find something good for them both. Minhyun leaning against his shoulder as he looks at things on the screen. Pointing at a few things before they decide on dinner. Minhyun playing with Jonghyun’s hair as they order, mumbling that he loves him and smiling when Jonghyun turns his head to kiss him and say it back. He occasionally still has his overthinking issues, but he talks with Jonghyun then. Both of them discussing things in depth and Jonghyun makes sure they write it down for the therapist he now sees, incase another thought come up for him to talk about. When Minhyun and Jonghyun don’t talk, they find a time for the whole group to discuss things. Jonghyun refusing to let something like Minhyun’s situation happen again. Talking things out, eating as five at least twice a week if possible, checking up on each other often. Everything feeling as though they’ve gotten closer as group even more so now that nothing is hidden. Jonghyun smiles as he sees his group seeming happier than before. That’s all that matters to him, his groups happiness and his group makes sure to keep an eye on his happiness as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Due to the nature of this fic, if you feel the need to speak to anyone, please reach out to a friend or contact the crisis hotline for your area (i'd give a number but I know not everyone is in the US). For Americans though, please check the [AFSP resource list](https://afsp.org/find-support/resources/) to find a site for your needs 
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